


All alone and I remember

by bennybentacles



Series: whumptober 2020 [18]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, Graphic Description, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt No Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Panic Attacks, the hargreeves are mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennybentacles/pseuds/bennybentacles
Summary: it was just one thing and it crumbled him down
Series: whumptober 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953556
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	All alone and I remember

**Author's Note:**

> whumptober 2020 no.18   
> Panic! At The Disco  
>  **Panic Attacks** | Phobia | Paranoia 
> 
> pls pls pls read the tags before you proceed

  
he can't remember how it started this time. maybe it's because of the ghost that resided the landing on the second floor. maybe it's because of the offhand comment that Diego threw at his direction. maybe it's because of the harsh words that he and Ben exchanged before they went down to dinner and Klaus saw how Ben pretended to be fine and Klaus was left to scramble after himself and he felt so left out

it never really mattered when one shout from one ghost started to make him tremble softly, hidden underneath his coat and his shaking hand clutching the fork tighter in his hands. his eyes flitted from _ghost_ to _ghost_ to _ghost_ and Klaus fears that their dinning area would be to crowded for him

it was Luther's offhand comment about his past that broke Klaus, made him leave the table with a half-assed excuse about smoking before he quickly walked out of the room, hands shoved at his pocket and he trembles, biting his lips because he's afraid he would sob and _he can't_ , can't break down in front of his siblings

and now here he is, sitting on an empty bath tub with his hands trembling as he tried to light up his cigarette _once, twice, thrice_ before he gave up, throwing his lighter as far away from him as he could, hands gripping his cigarette until it broke under his palm, tobacco going everywhere at once and he broke

tears leaked from his eyes and he shakes, hands clutching at his shirt as he tried to stop himself but _he can't, he can't, he can't_ and he gasped as he feels pain from inside him. he wants to claw out the hurt that he feels. he want, just want it to stop.

  
it was loud. too loud, so loud and Klaus wants it to _stop. stop. stop please_. he gasps, air struggling to go past his closing throat and Klaus feels the tears pool into his eyes as he gasp and gasp and gasp and his hands trmebled as he clenched them tightly.

Klaus wished he could open his eyes. wish he could open them because the dark is making everything harder but he knows, he knows that if he opened his eyes and saw the gory visage in front of him he wouldn't be able to take it

so he keeps his eyes closed. keep them as close as he can and he chokes down on the breath he couldn't take in. he let out muffled screams as he hears people shout near him, body curling into himself.

he wished he was anywhere but here, anywhere but in their house while his siblings have the time of their lives only a floor below him. he gasp, hard and harsh as more tears fell from his eyes. he doesn't, doesn't want this to happen but it did and he is now suffering

his hands shakily made their way into his ears, body trying to curl in further to himself, the bathtub cold against his skin and he sniffles.

"KLAUS" he hears someone shout after a bang and he screams loud and high as he scrambles back, hands pressing deeper into his ears and he sobs, loud sounds breaking from his within. he doesn't know where the sound came from but it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter

all he knew is someone is mad at him and he trembles, eyes clenched tight because he knew one of the ghost is with him at the tub and he chokes at his tears as he struggled to breath. _he can't breath, he can't breath. he can't breath_

his pants came in short burts, hurting his chest, making him feel as if his lungs is being crushed and he sobs, hands clutching at his ears and he feels as if he's a second away from passing out

he could hear thumps coming from somewhere but he doesn't know where they are from and he trembles as each sound reminded him of Vietnam and make his heart burst into a roundbout of skips 

he tried to make himself as small as he could when he heard something break from afar and he screams as he heard his named being called, eyes dripping with tears and he sobs, sobs harshly ad he heard footsteps

" _nonononono_ " he begs, lips moving rapidly as he shakes, head down as he tries and tries and tries to get away from the nearing footstep. he hears his name being called but he only sobbed harder 

then someone touched him. touched him, touched him. they could touch him and Klaus screams, high and shrill as his eyes opened and he trashed, limbs flailing all around and he can hear nothing and see nothing and think of nothing but the fact that someone touched him. 

the ghost, the ghost could touch him and Klaus tried to get away, hands scrambling to push himself up before he started to run, forgetting that he's in the bathtub and the last thing he remembers is flailing as he tripped and his head hit the ground

**Author's Note:**

> hi i hope i did the prompt justice and please let me kniw if i need to add tags to this bc i dont know how to tag this kind of fic
> 
> title from The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance
> 
> yell at me on tumblr and twitter @bennybentacles


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